The coffee broads recently discussed a clip from the Today Show about how to deal with mean women. It explores how, and why, girls and women use exclusion as their meanest trick.
The headlines these days are full of stories about blatant, open-faced bullying in schools. Kids are publicly and personally attacked during their most difficult years, leading many to tragic responses. So, perhaps exclusion tactics seem downright old-fashioned in the wake of modern mean-girls. The adult woman merely not inviting someone to a party or withholding information from a colleague may seem amateurish in comparison, but remember that today’s young women were by no means the inventors of the mean girl. They can look to their older mentors and see that the tactics are vintage.
Exclusion has an age-old and battle-proven track record of effectiveness when it comes to inflicting just pure meanness on another person. It is the sharpest weapon in any woman’s quiver. It was true in grade school and remains a constant force into adulthood. Being the proud bearer of a couple of fresh wounds myself, I can attest to their sting.
Psychologists explain that women engage in the tactic more often than men and deploy it when placed in competitive situations.
Exclusion is a power play, and it offers an oft-needed and cogent boost to wounded self-esteems.
I am fascinated by generational studies. The baby boomer generation of women have arguably accomplished more for their gender than any before them. They were pioneers. The only woman lawyer at the firm, the first woman this or that. By breaking all of those glass ceilings, they made it easier for future generations of women to succeed. All true, and boomers delight in reminding others of this. But far too often those accomplishments were achieved one woman at a time with less emphasis on bringing others along with them. Sheer determination and strong work ethics got them to the top and they like the penthouse view. Many just don’t feel the need to share it.
However, I am pretty convinced that I see a waning of that kind of exclusivity with Gen Xers and Millennials. They seem more enthusiastic about collaboration and find more satisfaction in achieving the goal than claiming the credit. I hope I am right about this because I am convinced that if women do not start diligently working together- as individuals and as groups and coalitions- we will remain exactly where we are.
The latest United Nations report: The World’s Women 2010, looks at the status of women across eight indicators. The analysis reveals that in the workforce, women work more hours than men, but remain underpaid. In education, women have made some gains, but continue to make up 2/3 of the world’s illiterate population (a stat that has remained unchanged in two decades). Concern for the future is manifested in the fact that women are severely underrepresented in the fields of science and engineering. And in politics, we know that effectively combating gender inequities will require more women to inhabit decision-making positions, yet only 17 percent of the world’s parliamentary seats are held by women. In the U.S. women hold only 16% of Congressional seats and in Oklahoma, women hold only 13% of legislative seats.
Clearly, women don’t have the time or the luxury to indulge in the selfish tactics of mean-girl exclusion. Spread the word.
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
